Wow! Not a typical Saturday afternoon. It's 4:38pm and the house is quiet.
Crate is asleep and the boys are on their way home from the father's and sons camp out. I heard it snowed. Burr. I can't wait for them to come back.

I just checked on Crate. He's sleeping so peacefully. I left his shorts off and his thighs are hanging out from his diaper. Once my eyes caught a glance my mouth started to water. Munch, munch.
Lately Crate loves to give kisses. Open mouth kisses that is. They're wet, slobbery, slimy and sometimes even buggery but they are the best kisses in the world. I cherish each one, knowing he won't be giving me those much longer. When the baby stage is all done...I mean no more babies ever, there are some things I won't miss (sleepless nights) but somethings I really will miss. Things like sitting in the recliner and falling asleep with a two day old baby on my chest. Hearing their first little giggle. Watching him smile in his sleep, knowing he's remembering where he was sent from and relishing in those sweet memories. Smelling their little bodies right after a bath. Setting up the crib and washing all the clothes in anticipation for the birth-day. Holding them right next to me as they receive their life sustaining nutrients from me and me only.(that sometimes can be a curse and a blessing at the same time.) And who can forget the munching of the thighs, belly and toes. Wow. What a complete and total privilege motherhood is. I wish I could recall my Heavenly mother. Oh, the things I could learn from her.

oh, the sweetness


I've been thinking a lot about the spirit. I really don't comprehend how it would be to go about life not having it. And I know how easily it can leave me if I'm not careful. The scripture found in Mosiah 4:30 says "But this much I can tell you, that if ye do not watch yourselves, and your thoughts, and your words, and your deeds, and observe the commandments of God..." I been thinking about the need to avoid even the very appearance of evil. I know I have said & done things before that are not in line with this scripture. Sometimes to be funny, sometimes from being immature and sometimes just cause I didn't have a backbone or the confidence to stand up and say something or leave. I hope I can teach my children different. There is nothing or nobody that is worth being with when you're in a situation or place that the spirit can't dwell. I need to teach them this and without them being prideful or thinking they are better than someone because of the decisions they make. The last thing I want is boys who have big heads or are self righteous. For pride is a sin too. As soon as one thinks they are better because of the way they live their life they are no better off than the one committing the sin. I hope to NEVER be considered self righteous. I've got my own weaknesses and I KNOW I am far from walking on water.

Back to the mothering thing. On Wednesday during personal progress we read a scripture found in D & C 45:57-59. This scripture along with the discussion that took place made me realize the promise given to people who live worthily in this life and have the opportunity to raise children or more children in the life to come. For in the life to come children will be raised without temptations, "...children shall grow up without sin unto salvation." Imagine how much sweeter parenthood will be when you don't worry or fret about losing your children to the ways of the world. If the Lord blesses me with additional children in this life that will be great. However, if not, I hope to keep myself worthy to raise children in the next. This life is literally a blink of an eye when looking through it with eternal glasses on. If my child bearing years are over, I shall not fret. I will have an entire millennium to be a mother. And the world will be a different place then. A much better place. A place worthy of a new bore babe. Have hope. Have faith.

The scriptures are true. This is know. The boys are back safe and sound. Back to reality.